So much has happened since I last blogged on here, I almost don't know where to begin!
Our circumstances have dramatically improved for one thing, thank God. We no longer live in the small, dusty apartment that saw so much trial and sorrow in those last few months. Not many people know where we live now, and we intend to keep it that way for as long as we can. Happily, our home is the very mountain home that we dreamed of in the midst of our tribulations back in April. It's more than what we could have ever hoped for, and I still look around me in amazement when I remember the miracle and the circumstances that led us here.
I haven't been able to get a laptop of my own as of yet, but my sister generously lets me use hers and I have been writing. Nearly every day for a month now, for two to three hour stretches. I've rewritten (so far) the first twenty chapters of my book and for the first time since I started writing it, I am almost satisfied when I reread it. Not totally satisfied but more than I've ever been before, which is saying a lot.
I think my biggest fear when it comes to telling our story is that I won't do it justice. I won't give it the depth and the meaning that it deserves. But I've learned to submit that fear to God - to trust that whatever piece I eventually end up with is the one that it was always meant to be. I've given it my all, this book, and I know I haven't done it all on my own. To be honest, the days where I get the most done, the days where I see my best work, are the days where I first pray for the Holy Spirit to touch me, to anoint me in what I must do, and then it's almost easy. The words flow quicker, the phrases fit together. I could spend hours writing if I didn't have to turn off the computer and return to the reality of present life. At least our reality has changed enough so that the present no longer mimics the past. But I still struggle with fitting the two together... Half the time, I might as well be sleepwalking. I'm always half-in that other realm, that other atmosphere, and there are days where I barely shift back to the reality of this one. But the beauty of the present is a gift and I don't take it for granted.
There are still questions I have concerning my book, and I wait patiently for God to lead me in the answers. Questions like - should it be two volumes or just one? Do I self-publish or find a publishing company? Do I need a literary agent? If so, where do I find one? I don't worry about these questions though, because God has never failed in providing what we've needed. He'll show me.
For now, blogging must remain somewhat of a backburner concept since our internet is slow. In the meantime, I'll continue writing. Something tells me that I'll be finished (at least with the first volume) by the end of this year.
